


Dollar Store Rudolph

by ElectricRituals



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anniversary, Banana Hammock, Established Relationship, M/M, embarrassed Geralt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27970145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricRituals/pseuds/ElectricRituals
Summary: Geralt’s surprise for his and Jaskier’s wedding anniversary is verging on embarrassing but Jaskier loves it.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 51





	Dollar Store Rudolph

**Author's Note:**

> This was a picture prompt I received on tumblr (@electricrituals), I'll link the tumblr post with the picture in the end notes :)

Nerves were running through Geralt’s body, overpowering and unpleasant. He genuinely couldn’t remember a time in his life he had ever been this nervous. Not his wedding day, not the day he found out he would become the legal guardian of a little girl who had just lost her parents, _never_.

His idea had been stupid, he decided. He needed to change and figure out something else, a better anniversary gift for his husband.

He took a deep breath and turned back to the mirror, taking in his image again, and cringed, blushing at what he saw.

Nope, he was thoroughly convinced that he’d had a very, _very_ bad idea. He sighed, still staring uncomfortably at his image in the mirror.

It was his and Jaskier’s wedding anniversary and he had wanted to surprise the other man. The problem with that being, Geralt couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. And, even when he had managed to keep his mouth shut, Jaskier had always managed to guess the surprise.

But this time Geralt had spent months racking his brain, searching the internet and, worst of all, _shopping_. He’s been in and out of all kinds of shops, online and in person, trying to find the perfect thing that would absolutely shock his husband.

And he’d finally found it.

The perfect surprise.

Outfit?

Studying himself in the mirror, Geralt couldn’t find a way to justify calling what he was wearing an outfit. No, it was simply a _thing_. A bad idea. Geralt puffed up his cheeks before exhaling slowly as he snapped the straps over his pecs, making the bells jingle.

No way, there was absolutely no way he could go through with this.

The straps running up and down his torso led down to the most ridiculous banana hammock he had ever seen. Possibly the most ridiculous banana hammock in existence. It was yellow in color and the hammock had a face on it, complete with googly eyes and a fuzzy red nose.

No, he needed to take this off and burn it before Jaskier got-

“Geralt?”

“Fuck,” Geralt grunted, hearing the front door of their house slam shut. Geralt hurried around the room looking for something he could put on before Jaskier found him. He hadn’t been expecting the other man home quite so soon.

“Geralt?” Jaskier called again, this time sounding as if he was just outside of their bedroom.

Geralt had just grabbed a robe and thrown it on when Jaskier swung open the door, a bright smile adorning his face, “Hey! Here you are. I got- why are you wearing my robe?” Jaskier’s head was cocked to the side, his brows furrowed adorably as he took in his husband, wearing Jaskier’s own flowery blue robe, undoubtedly looking slightly suspicious.

“Hmm… I was looking for something to wear.”

Jaskier stared at Geralt for a beat, as if expecting him to continue. Geralt, however, was fastidiously not continuing. “So… you put on my robe?” Jaskier finally asked when it became clear Geralt wouldn’t continue without prompting.

“Yes.”

Jaskier snorted, “Why?”

“So that I wouldn’t be cold.” Geralt wasn’t looking at Jaskier, he knew if he made eye contact that Jaskier would know he was lying. Of course, Jaskier probably already knew he was lying.

“Wouldn’t be-” Jaskier huffed, “What on Earth are you talking about? It’s boiling in here.”

“I just switched the heat on.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier snapped finally, losing his patience, “honestly, what is going on?”

Geralt kept staring slightly over Jaskier’s shoulder, avoiding eye contact, as he felt his face heating up, blushing brighter than before. There he was, standing before his husband, wearing a flowy silk robe covered in dandelions, hiding his… well… whatever the stupid thing he was wearing was.

He finally sighed, locking eyes with Jaskier, allowing himself to melt into the blue of the man’s eyes as he tried to find the strength he would need to do this, “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“You got me a surprise?”

“Yes.”

“And it’s under my robe?”

“Yes.”

“Well then,” Jaskier said lightly, inching closer to Geralt, “may I see it?”

“Only if you promise not to laugh.”

Jaskier’s eyebrows rose on his face, confusion clouding his features, but he nodded, “Alright, then. I promise.”

Steeling his nerves, Geralt shrugged off the robe, letting it fall to the floor, finally revealing himself to Jaskier.

His husband stood still in front of him, his mouth agape and his eyes slowly travelling up and down Geralt’s body, taking in the full picture, the way the banana hammock was framing his body.

“Fuck” Jaskier finally exhaled harshly.

Geralt’s nerves returned full force, unsure of what the response had meant.

Jaskier took a slow step forward, “Geralt, I love it. Very much. You have rendered me speechless, truly.”

Finally, close enough to Geralt to touch, Jaskier reached out and flicked one of the bells resting on Geralt’s chest making it jingle. “I only have one complaint dear.”

“What?”

“It’s missing something. Right now, it looks like almost a reindeer. See, it could be festive!”

“Jaskier, no.”

“Right now, it’s dollar store Rudolph but-”

“No.”

“No, no, hear me out Geralt! We could add better antlers and it would- mmph.”

To stop Jaskier’s rambling, Geralt pulled him in close, covering Jaskier’s mouth with his own. It was, he’d found after many years of marriage, the most effective way to hush the ridiculous man, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Find the original post with the picture here >> https://electricrituals.tumblr.com/post/635025456098328576/i-received-a-wonderful-picture-prompt-from-my


End file.
